Photo by Basil Frasure
Overcoming Loneliness
Many, many people live with loneliness. This is especially true of those
that go away to college and those who join a military service. They are
suddenly separated from friends and family. Those who lose a loved one
through death, divorce, or romantic breakup also face loneliness. There
are also those who sense loneliness in the midst of a crowd of friends
and family. Sometimes, we experience feelings loneliness because we are
a social outcast. We don't fit in with the majority of the people. We may
be from a minority social, ethical, religious, or racial group. We may
have a physical or mental handicap that makes us different and causes us
to feel alone. We feel rejected, isolated, and alone.
One may respond to the feelings of loneliness in a number of ways, but
basically, we will in some way try to fill the void. One may become
angry and bitter about loneliness, but will also seek out others who have
the same feelings. A lonely person may withdraw from people and fill his
mind with fantasies. Many young adults marry out of feelings of loneliness.
Others try to fill their lives with sexual partners. Some teens join gangs
so that they can fit into a group. Some people strive to fill the void
with achievements. Others fill their lives with alcohol or drugs. Still
others seek "thrills" to fill the void. Finally, some people try to fill
their lives with religious practices and rituals. The problem is that these
things are only "temporary fixes". They don't last!
We should understand that we are lonely not just because we lose friends
and family, but because God created us to have a relationship and
fellowship with HIM. In one sense, we have a God-shaped void in our lives.
God created us to be the habitation of God. God not only lives in Heaven,
he also desires to take up residence within each of us.
In the Old Testament, men built a tabernacle and temples for God to
dwell in (Exodus 25:8-9, II Samuel 7:13). The tabernacle basically had
three parts: the Outer Court, the Holy Place, and the Holy of Holies. The
presence of God came into the Holy of Holies and sat upon the throne of
the Mercy Seat which sat upon the Ark. The New Testament concept is that
Jesus Christ came as the tabernacle of God (Hebrews 9:11). The Spirit of
Almighty God lived and dwelled within Him. We should understand that as
Jesus was the Son of Man, he was a temple having three parts: spirit, soul,
and body. Furthermore, he was born of the Spirit of God. Therefore, the
Spirit of God lived within Him within his spirit. Wherever Jesus went,
the Spirit of God went with Him. Furthermore, at Jesus' water baptism,
the anointing power of the Spirit also rested upon him (John 1:32, Luke
4:14, 18-19). The presence and the power of God that dwelled in Jesus enabled
Jesus to live a life of obedience to the Father (John 5:19).
When Jesus died on the cross, the veil which had separated God from
man in the man-made temple was tore from the top to the bottom (Mark 15:38).
This indicated that God tore the veil. Man could now have access to God
through Jesus. Moreover, God would now have access to live and dwell
within the temple of man, himself. I restate: God left the man-made
temple of stones to live and dwell within man. Like the Old Testament temple
that had three parts, we also have three parts: spirit, soul, and body
(I Thessalonians 5:23). The Spirit of Almighty God was to live and dwell
within the spirit of men.
How would you like for the Spirit of Almighty God to live and dwell
(I Peter 1:23) within you? Jesus offered this reality, this experience,
to his disciple and ultimately to all men on the day of his resurrection.
He explained to his disciples that he had made peace with the Father on
their (and our) behalf (John 20:21). Then Jesus said, "As the Father hath
sent me, even so send I you" (John 20:21b). How did the Father send Jesus
into the world? He was born of the Spirit of God! "And when he said this,
he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost"
(John 20:22). We must conclude at that moment the disciples received the
Spirit of the Living God. God took up residence within the disciples. They
were born of the Spirit.
You may also receive the new birth and have the Spirit of the Living
God live and dwell within you. If you have not already experienced this
reality of new life, please pray the following prayer: Dear God ...
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I confess to you that I have not obeyed all your laws (Romans 3:10, 3:23).
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I understand that the penalty for my disobedience is death (Romans 5:12,
6:23).
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I believe that Jesus, God's Son, came and lived a perfect life, but died
for all my sins, was buried, but arose the third day (Romans 5:8, Isaiah
53:6).
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Therefore, I give my life to Jesus as my Lord (ruler, king, boss) and ask
that he come and live inside me and make me a new person. (Romans 10:9-10).
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Now, I thank you that you are my Lord and Saviour and that you now live
inside of me. Amen.
If you have honestly prayed this prayer, you have become a child of God
(John 1:1-13). You have experienced a new spiritual birth (John 3:1-8).
Furthermore, the Spirit of God has taken up residence within you. "Know
ye not that ye are the temple of God, and the Spirit of God dwelleth in
you" (I Corinthians 3:16). Imagine it! The Spirit of the Creator is living
inside of you! Peter writes, "Being born again, not of corruptible seed,
but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth forever"
(I Peter 1:23). This not a temporal experience that will pass away the
first time we sin. It is lasting unchangeable reality. It is a matter of
fact. It is a truth, whether or not we fully understand or acknowledge
it.
Look at the words of Jesus, "I in them, and thou in me, that they may
be made perfect [complete] in one; and that the world may know that thou
has sent me, and hast loved them, as thou has loved me" (John 17:23). Did
you catch it? God loves us just as much as He loved His Son Jesus! Wow!
As Believers, it is extremely important that we acknowledge and profess
the truth that we are the temple of God and that God lives and dwells within
us. We never, never have to be alone again! Jesus said, "And, lo,
I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world" (Matthew 28:20b).
We should also know that we may be baptized (immersed) in and filled
with the power of the Spirit of God (Acts 1:8). Although the disciples
received the Holy Spirit on the day of the resurrection (John 20:21), they
were baptized in and filled with the Spirit fifty days later (Acts 2:1ff).
On this day, God gave the power of the Spirit to Believers to live the
Christian life and to minister to others. The Holy Spirit is the Comforter
who is to walk along beside of us as we live (John 14:26, 15:26, 16:7-15).
Look at the words of Jesus, "And I will pray the Father, and he shall give
you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever: Even the Spirit
of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither
knoweth him; but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be
in you. I will not leave you comfortless [as orphans]: I will come
to you . . . At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in
me,
and I in you" (John 14:16-20). Have you received the Holy Spirit since
you have believed (Acts 19:2)? You can receive the fullness of the Holy
Spirit by asking the Father (Luke 11:1-13).
How does one overcome loneliness? One way is by acknowledging
God's presence in your life. This sounds all too simple, but let us look
at the factors involved. First, fear is usually associated with loneliness.
We have a fear of failure or the fear of being overcome by the devil. However,
with the acknowledgment of the presence of God, who is the Almighty Creator,
being there, there is no reason to have that fear. Second, we sometimes
just have a need to unload upon someone else. We may want to air problems,
share successes, or just fellowship with someone. With God being there
with us, we can unload upon Him and fellowship with Him.
Some benefits of acknowledging God's presence in your life
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You can overcome the struggle with loneliness, because the Comforter is
with you (John 14:16-17).
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You don't have to be afraid, because God (Yahweh) is with you (Psalm 23:4).
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You don't have to continue in turmoil, because the King gives us peace
and joy (Romans 14:17).
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You can overcome sin, because in His presence is the fear of the Lord (Proverbs
3:7).
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You don't have to panic, because God is in control (Romans 8:28).
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You don't have to worry about what to say, because the Holy Spirit will
tell you what to say (Mark 13:11).
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You don't have to fret over how to pray, because the Holy Spirit will pray
through you (Romans 8:26).
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You can gain freedom from the enemy, because the Spirit sets you free (II
Corinthians 3:17).
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You don't have to worry about God giving up on you, because He will continue
to work in you life as you allow Him to do so (Philippians 1:6).
Some ways to practice acknowledging His presence
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Be still and bathe in His presence (Psalm 4:5, 46:10). In today's world,
it may seem hard to find the time or the place to do this. However, it
is essential in overcoming loneliness and finding a peace of mind.
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Stop and give thanks unto the Lord (Psalm 100:4, 107:22). Yesterday, morning
I prayed for rain because there were cracks in my yard around my house.
Yesterday evening it rained. I was naturally glad it rained, but I had
to purpose to stop and give thanks to God.
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Take praise breaks (Psalm 22:3, 119:164). We are to praise God for who
He is. It is amazing how our vision of life changes when we purpose to
enter His presence with praise. We begin to see things from His perspective.
The Lord inhabits the praises of His people.
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We should sing songs unto the Lord (Psalm 100:2, Colossians 3:16). While
growing up, I learned many songs about the Lord. However, it was later
that I learned to sing song unto Him. Try creating your own song to sing
unto Him and see how you will be blessed by His presence.
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Prayer in a general sense is communication with God (Psalm 55:17, I Corinthians
14:15). We should recognize His presence by asking for His opinion, His
advise, and His direction. We are to pray with the natural mind and also
in the Spirit.
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We may acknowledge His presence in studying His Word (Psalm 138:2, II Timothy
2:15). Bible study, to me, is often like setting down and eating a meal
with God. The bread is the Word. We just sit and fellowship over the Word.
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When we acknowledge His presence, we may find that we need to repent of
certain sins (Isaiah 6:5, Psalm 139:23-24). We may acknowledge His presence
by inviting Him to look inside of us and to show us where why we are having
so much unrest and pain.
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We may acknowledge His presence by making professions of faith (Psalm 134:3,
Hebrews 10:22-25). Profession of faith are declarations of what God has
done and is doing in our life.
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We may acknowledge His presence by taking time to rejoice in Him (Psalm
16:11, Philippians 4:4). Rejoicing in the Lord is a matter of faith and
a matter of choice. We are to rejoice in most every situation.
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We may also acknowledge His presence by the playing of musical instruments
unto Him (Psalm 150:3-6). Recently, we had a tambourine and dance troop
minister in our church. When I heard about their coming, I was very skeptical
about any ministry that would be in it. Boy, was I wrong! They ministered
praises unto the Lord. I was drawn into the worshipping in the presence
of God.
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We may also practice acknowledging the presence of the Lord by fellowshipping
with other Believers (I John 1:3-7, Proverbs 18:24, Hebrews 10:25, ). Sometimes
Believers are lonely simply because they refuse to accept other members
of the Body of Christ. When we accept other Believers even as Christ accepted
us, we are acknowledging His presence.
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We also may acknowledge His presence by sharing our faith with others (Isaiah
6:8, Psalm 105:1). If the presence of God is truly with us, then we should
have a boldness to witness to others (Acts 4:29-31).
I pray that this brief study on how to overcome the struggle with loneliness
is beneficial to you. For prayer or further help please contact
me (Basil Frasure, Ph.D.)
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